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Chapter 10: Lumberjack Science Fiction

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  • Chapter 10: Lumberjack Science Fiction
By thatgreenunionguy | 1:18 AM UTC, Sun May 01, 1966

This appeared in the Lumberjack News of Eureka, California and in Vanguard, of New York.

The year is 1990. The Socialist system now prevails in all of Europe and Asia, and the former American Colonies. While the former capitalist rulers fought to the bitter end using all means at their disposal, including imported mercenary troops, the rule of the majority---the oppressed workers, peasants, and students prevailed, and the revolution was an established fact. And now the red flag of Socialism flies from Siberia to Malaya, and from Hong Kong to London and in fact over the entire "Old World."

The US which was already overcrowded with wealthy refugees and their retinues (stool pigeons) now is being deluged by a new tidal wave of the same, from Mexico, Canada, and the Latin American "Republics" where the workers were rebelling.

Many US and refugee business men now see the handwriting on the wall here too, and while determined to resist to the last, they have already begun building huge space craft to take them to Mars and Venus. In fact several of these craft have already left with their cargo of Big Shots.

Now, in November of 1980, the first of these craft has just returned to earth, and one of the passengers gave this editor of Lumberjack News an exclusive interview. Heres what the man said:

They took us up to the "Great HE-HODAG" and he asked us where we were from, and why we had left, and what did we do down there?

"Well I told him, we were Lumbermen and owned some of the large sawmills."

"Well", says the Great HE-HODAG, "first place we dont have any sawmills (whatever they are) and if we DID have, we would have sense enough to run them ourselves, but if you wish to stay, we can always put you to work."

"Well in that case", I told him, "We had better go back."

"That made the old boy mad," and he hollers, "All right; we'll put you on the earth beam and shoot you back down on the harbor[1] (whatever that is) and by the helpers of the great HE-HODAG, I hope you have to set chokers, fall timber, and load logs and wade in mud, I mean hip deep for the rest of your natural lives!"

Footnotes

[1] Logger Slang for Grays Harbor, Washington.

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